shacklebreaker | IC Inbox: cerealia

[ Just as long as he doesn't eat them!! :'( ]

That's— [ Different? Only a little bit. She just harrumphs because he does have a point. Simon wins this round. ] It just takes a while to get used to.

[ There. Now Athena's perfectly honest about how she feels. And it's weird. ]

[He won't!! He'll just nibble one or two of them.]

And here's another way in which your assumption is false. Everything I've done these past seven years has been to look out for you... Nothing more or less.

[He may have saddled her with an unimaginable burden in the process, but that hadn't been his intent. And it was better than the alternative.]

[ Oh. Well then.

She isn't sure if feeling grateful for that is what she should be feeling, but that's what's happening. That, and she also feels an overwhelming amount of guilt. All this time, she thought that he was throwing his life away. She never really understood it, but it makes sense now. To say "you shouldn't have done that" isn't right, and is also years delayed. Should she even say something about it at this point? Nah, she just lets Taka do his thing and plops on the couch. Her eyes are fixed on the floor; best to look at her feet when she's trying hard to keep a brave front. ]

You are so silly. [ There! Take that! She totally has everything under control now. ]

[Totally under control!! Except not, because he's shooting her a smirk that says otherwise.]

Hmph... There's nothing silly about it. No one is more important to me in this hellish world, or in ours, than you.

[While he lets that sink in, he takes Taka away from Athena's belongings and onto his shoulder, before the inquisitive bird gets carried away. Normally he wouldn't be so open about himself, but if it helps Athena get the misguided ideas out of her head that she has no one to depend on, then he's willing to say it.]

[ That is so unfair!! She totally feels cornered now; that she should just accept everything that was just said, and she does. It's comforting to hear somebody important say something like that. That is, if the feeling of comfort is the one that's giving her a weird tingly feeling in her chest. ]

You can't say something like that and just stand there! [ She's still looking at the floor, but she's totally asking him to sit down next to her. ]

Should it matter where I say it? There's no need to make such a fuss.

[He's unfazed, but he'll stop teasing her and take the hint. He puts Taka down to perch on the back of the couch, then moves to sit next to her.]

[ It does make a difference!

She doesn't look at him or anything, but she leans on his shoulder once he's next to her. Gone??? are the days when she'd do something like this because she's tired, or feeling sick from hearing people's emotions. This time, she's leans on him to make sure he's real. ]

Thank you for thinking of me. [ She just murmurs it, slightly reluctant to say it out loud. She's grown up to be so exuberant and she's learned how to express herself openly, but she just ends up thinking it's okay to be quiet around Simon. ]

[He doesn't mind quiet. Exuberant Athena is nice to see, but this side of Athena is something more familiar to him.]

There's no need to thank me. As I said, I merely do as duty commands me to.

[As she lays her head on his shoulder, he puts his arm around her, resting a hand on her head. After so many years of prison, being close to anyone like this is still something of an unfamiliar experience to him, but he doesn't mind if it will bring comfort to Athena.]

[ Normally, she dislikes being treated like a child. Headpats make her feel like she's being looked down on! But it's relaxing and comforting this time, so she doesn't move Simon's hand away. ]

So... did you want to talk about mom?

[He considers her question for a moment, his hand leaving her head. Really, he should be the one asking her if she wants to talk about it, when she seemed so reluctant before, but he'll take the question as permission to do so.]

...Yes. How did she seem to you when you encountered her?

[ She didn't want to remember too far back into that specific memory, but she does. And she becomes slightly dizzy just thinking about it. ]

Mr. Wright said that the Feys are spirit mediums who can help me talk with the dead, so I wanted to talk to mom with Miss Maya's help. I wanted to apologise for thinking that she was just using me. But then I saw her here, and she seemed so glad to see me. She took arriving here rather well, and was really calm about everything. So... I told her what happened the past seven years.

[ Athena's vision slowly gets blurry as she talks, but doesn't say anything about it. Instead, she grows silent in case Simon wants to say something about her story so far. ]

You told her everything? How did she take it?

[In his own encounter with Metis, he'd fallen back into old habits and kept silent about almost everything, thinking to spare her the pain of knowing. Thinking back on it now, he wonders if he encountered her before or after she appeared to Athena... What if she had already been told everything and didn't mention it?]

She seemed happy.

[ As glad as Metis can be. Not that Athena would know much about her mom. ]

When we talked, we didn't dwell on the past so much. I was so focused on impressing her, so I talked about the present. Mr. Wright, Apollo, being here and being saved.

We were looking for the source of a ringing sound, like a bell. She grew impatient and got mad at me for not being able to find it.

[ Her memories of it are hazy now, but she does remember her mother saying that she was worthless for not being able to find a source of a sound when she could hear so well.

She pulls up her knees and draws them close to her, retreating as much as she could into the seat. At least she's said everything. She isn't hiding anything anymore. Her head keeps spinning, and she tries to calm herself down by closing her eyes. ]

Athena... [He watches as she retreats into herself, evidently disturbed by what she saw. Everything seems consistent with what he experienced.]

I heard a similar noise, and she urged me to locate it, reacting in a similar way when I could not. The things she said cut deeper than blades... Things that make me wonder if she was really Metis at all, or merely a recreation intended to lure us into danger. Metis was not a cruel woman.

[He feels a surge of anger that CERES would toy with them in such a way. It's an insult to her memory, one he can never forgive.]

[ She can't exactly agree that Metis wasn't cruel, when she barely has any good memories of her mother. But considering she said something similar to Simon, maybe he's right. And maybe it might have been somebody else entirely?

Or maybe CERES messed up with their coding. She honestly doesn't know what to think of it yet.

She does remember that the wind got stronger shortly after hearing her mother call her worthless. Still, she continued her search. ]

I didn't give up, though. I wanted to show her that I could find where it was coming from. But that's all I can remember. I suddenly found myself being carried by Mutsunokami, and we were going somewhere.

I must have gotten hit by a car while I was trying to look for it. Mom... I don't know what happened to her after that. But. . . I don't really want to know, either.

For me, I was separated from her by a blast of wind when the blizzard began, and as much as I struggled to find her again, it was all for naught...

[He still hasn't discounted the possibility it really was Metis, her strange behaviour aside, and that bothers him immensely.]

I would have searched for her for as long as I could in those conditions, but I received your message and grew concerned, so I went to the mall instead. Whatever became of her, Metis would have wanted to put your safety first... That is one thing I am certain of.

[ It hurts her to say it out loud, but-- ]

I want to believe that's the truth. But it really would be better to actually hear her say those words.

[ Her eyes are already closed, but she covers them both with her palms as tears slowly fall to her cheeks. ]

I hear her call me worthless every night before I sleep. Why would she say that about you, though? She didn't have to.

Athena...! Enough of that talk.

[He pulls at her wrists, gently but firmly, forcing her to look at him.]

Metis would never say you were worthless. She thought you more precious than anything in the world! And I know for certain you aren't worthless, when you have been the sole thing these past seven years that has given my own life worth.

If this "Metis" cannot understand either of those things, then she is a poor imitation of her indeed.

[ SHE'S NOT LOOKING!!!! But that's only because she's crying. Shut up!!

It's been said to her a lot of times already: Metis did love her. She started believing in it, and treasured her earring even more because of it. Seeing "Metis" really did mess with her head and threw her off, though. It really would be nice to actually talk to Metis. The real one.

Getting her mother's verbal approval would be great, but really, all Athena wants is to feel like she's making a difference. That she's made a mark on someone. So being told that she was the one giving Simon's life worth hits her hard. She already thanked him just a few minutes ago for thinking of and caring for her, but now she just feels totally in his debt for considering her as somebody important.

Instead of saying anything, she just continues to cry. Though if she did respond, she'd just repeatedly say "okay", and "I'm sorry". ]

[He's said all he can say, not trusting himself to say any more when he can feel a lump rising in his throat. Was this really what she thought for all those years? That no one cared for her, that her own mother could even think she was worthless?

And now for CERES to bring all those old insecurities to the fore... He simply stays beside her, letting her cry it out for as long as she needs to. He's sure his theory is right, but for all that he can talk about the past, the only thing he can really do is be here for her here and now.]

[ She can't stay sad for long, especially when somebody else is around. Once she feels like she's cried enough, she stares at the wall to think about what to do next. A hand makes way for her earring, which she gently touches. It's become more of a habit to do it than anything else. ]

I can't believe I've been crying a lot lately! [ And with that, her usual energy is back. She's addressing the wall, though, because it still feels a bit awkward to look Simon in the eye. ]

[If she'll let him, he'll give her a gruff, one-armed hug.] It's better to cry and allow yourself to be sad, than to bottle everything up.

[Should she really be taking advice about this from someone with permanent tear streaks on his face...]

[ At least everybody knows that he does cry... ]

I'm done crying for now. I've cried about two years' worth of tears these past few days.

[ She doesn't react negatively to the hug, but she does pull on the hems of his shirt. Or whatever it is he has on. She looks at him with determined eyes—or as determined as they can get with... how red they are. ]

I'm really glad you're here, Simon. I think I'll be okay as long as you're around. [ She can't exactly just discount her own mother, but until she gets to talk to the real Metis again, then she'll just hold onto what the people important to her say. ]

If you disappear like what happened to mom... or Apollo, then I'm going to find you. Or even code you on my own!

Hmph... There's that warrior spirit of yours.

[It's certainly something to be admired, and it suits her better than all that crying. Satisfied she's back to her usual self, he draws back.]

If you were ever to code me, I do hope you properly brush up on how to do so first. Returning as a mess of scrambled data sounds like an uncomfortable experience.

[Well, Aura would think it would be pretty funny, but then she's the kind of person who would mess with his coding for kicks.]

Maybe I'll have the new you talk in modern English.

[ Pls don't leave, Simon. She'll turn you into someone completely out of character. ]

IC Inbox: cerealia

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